April 08, 2018 2 min read

18 weeks!!


Crap! Is it 18 weeks already! Its really starting to feel real! I have been  on a roller coaster of emotions this week, angry, sad, happy, HANGRY... a lot of hangry. I feel like I am this angry cartoon character whose head explodes every time I get mad.


I love my autism, its such a gift but sometimes it sucks balls! It's like I have two personas, one is this strong, don't fuck with me amazon warrior and the other is this little girl who's still scared of the dark. I struggle with my emotions, especially during prep. Describing it is soo hard because you don't want people to think you're moaning or even worse for people to think less of you. The fear of judgement is strong!


Have you ever burst into tears because you cant handle someone's body odder? Have you ever had a meltdown because the DJ's music was too loud? I have! Did I mention it sucks balls but I promise I wouldn't be doing this if I didn't love every second. 
It has been a crazy week at work, at home and in the gym. I work with autistic children and they are so ready for the Easter holiday, I think everyone needs a good break and a long nap!


I love naps! I am NOT a morning person! Okay that’s an understatement I am NOT a person until lunch time. The secret to a bad-arse session, is a good nap and a cup of rooibos (non caffeinated tea- I cant have caffeine because I'm autistic)
 
This time round I'm surrounding myself with positive people, I'm trying to build myself a 'squad' of friends that also live in the gym. In my last prep I lost a few friends because they didn't understand and became very negative about my competing. I've got an awesome group of friends and training partners that range from my bestie, to tuff's very own pocket rocket Laura and a strong man. This time round will be a lot better, I can feel it in my colon. 


Laura and I had an amazing shoulder and back session last night! I am so close to shoulder pressing 20s, its insane!


Really happy with how training is going, I can see definition, detail and ABS!! ABS! AT 18WEEKS OUT! All this hunger has paid off!
 
This is the current package, the result of 7months of reverse dieting, working my arse off and a few tears. I'm very happy with where I am and I am in a much better position then last year so things can only get better.


I am a contender!

bikini competitor

Jocelyn Meyer

Contender


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